I am coming to grips with the things I've done. I've hurt many people and deceived many more. The pain I feel is great, though I know others have felt greater. I seek forgiveness for my sins, but I don't know where to find it. I have fallen from the path and wandered into the depths. I no longer know the truth, though this is surely what I shall always seek. I beg your forgiveness, for I shall never forgive myself.

I've come to a decision: Teen pregnancy isn't horrible. It's not good. It's just something that happens. Good can come of things like that. Not a big realization, but an important one.

Home for the Holidays

I'm back at home... and back to hiding my life. I have to keep a "safe page" open all the time now when I'm on the main computer. Sure, my laptop is safe - mostly. Whatever. This is my life. I'm used to it. Brio Mag... I'll become well acquainted with you once again.

I really wish I could write performance poetry. Sure, I write normal poetry... but it's not that great. And besides, it's not performance-worthy. My current dream is to record a performance poem. I don't think I'm going to live that one.

You know what my mom told me today? "Wendi's pregnant. She's about ready to pop." Blank stare. Are you serious? I'm already crying because I may never see one of my closest new friends again and you think it's the perfect time to bring up Wendi? I still miss her. It's bee more than 4 years since she left, and I still miss her. I guess I'm not so good at letting go. I can't stand to see someone I love screwing up her life. I guess she's already screwed it up, though. There's not much left she can do. 18 years old with 2 kids and 1 on the way. And for some reason, I blame myself.

xkcd "Couple"

This is quite possibly my favorite comic EVER. I have this strange urge to ask this to everyone I know... they'd say no of course, but still.

clipped from xkcd.com

Wintery Mix

So... It's finals week here at Bloomsburg University. Everyone is stressed (except for those of us who've finished our finals already), and they decide to close the school. That means that the finals that were supposed to be today will be tomorrow, and the ones that were tomorrow will be on Saturday. Wow. That really sucks... but I finished last night, so I don't care. However, I'm really ready to go home, but I can't. Stupid wintery mix.

Snow has fallen, snow on snow on snow on snow...

I'm 18 now! I feel absolutely no different. Oh well. Don't I say that every year? The difference comes with experiences, not a date on the calendar.

It snowed!!! This was technically the second snow of the season, but it was the first snow of December... on December 1st. How perfect is that!? My college friends and I went sledding at 2 AM last night (this morning). We didn't really do much sledding, though. There were rocks at the bottom of the hill. (Dan found that out the hard way.)

The Women's Choral Ensemble (of which I'm a part), the Husky singers, and the Concert Choir had a concert last night and the night before. They went well. I didn't screw anything up horribly, so I'm happy. Mom came up last night for the concert. It made me happy.

I'm sick. It sucks. I have so much school work to do today it's not even funny. As a matter of fact, it makes me ill just thinking about how much work I have to do.