Sunday, July 8, 2007
Amanda loves my big brain. I'm glad somebody does.
So work didn't totally suck tonight. It was actually pretty fun[ny]. Me, Jose, Jon, and Ellexis... all hyper. I'm pretty sure that equals hilarity. At least tonight it did.
44 days till the end of my world.
and I'm scared out of my mind.
I haven't written for too long. (too long = about a week in my world) But seriously. I haven't written anything of any substance for a while. It's driving me nuts. I just don't feel it anymore. That's not true. Sometimes I feel it. I just can't seem to get it all worked out long enough to write it down. It's this college crap. Even the idea has me scared stiff. I'm pretty sure I'd rather do anything else... except maybe work at Mutzy's for the rest of my life. Though, right now, the idea of having to enter that cafeteria twice every day for the next 4 years (even when I just look at it 4 months at a time, like my mom keeps telling me to) is quite possibly worse than working at Mutzy's till I die. I'm not social. I don't want to be social. I wanted to schedule my classes to avoid the noon lunchtime. Just my luck. Freshman have basically no control over their schedules. Even being in the honors doesn't help me so much there. Not only am I stuck with morning classes, I'm stuck with a noon lunch-hour. I'm not going to do it the first few weeks. I don't think I can. I barely survived at orientation, and that can't possibly be as bad the normal noon-lunch.
No, I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life. It's time I moved on. But why do I have to go alone? Why can't I have any friends with any ambition? That's not fair, I know. Dan and Sarah H. are going to HACC, but that's here. And Marsia's going to Ithaca. She's certainly got ambition. Unfortunately, Ithaca isn't Bloomsburg. It's nowhere near Bloomsburg. Naomi's not going to school till next year. She's going to a Christian school anyway. So, here we are. Back at the beginning. I'm going to college completely alone. And basically defenseless. It's been so long since I've been in school. (HACC doesn't count. It's not based on social connections.) I don't even know what high school is like. Is it anything like elementary school was? It must be worse, cause elementary wasn't that bad. College isn't supposed to be like high school. But why would it be any different. One summer can't change people that much. Maybe because it's an all new set of people... but they're all coming from the same situation. Except me -- I'm coming from nowhere. I'm socially inept. I don't understand things that I should. I live in a different world than my soon-to-be peers.
44 days till the end of my world.
Help.
I haven't written for too long. (too long = about a week in my world) But seriously. I haven't written anything of any substance for a while. It's driving me nuts. I just don't feel it anymore. That's not true. Sometimes I feel it. I just can't seem to get it all worked out long enough to write it down. It's this college crap. Even the idea has me scared stiff. I'm pretty sure I'd rather do anything else... except maybe work at Mutzy's for the rest of my life. Though, right now, the idea of having to enter that cafeteria twice every day for the next 4 years (even when I just look at it 4 months at a time, like my mom keeps telling me to) is quite possibly worse than working at Mutzy's till I die. I'm not social. I don't want to be social. I wanted to schedule my classes to avoid the noon lunchtime. Just my luck. Freshman have basically no control over their schedules. Even being in the honors doesn't help me so much there. Not only am I stuck with morning classes, I'm stuck with a noon lunch-hour. I'm not going to do it the first few weeks. I don't think I can. I barely survived at orientation, and that can't possibly be as bad the normal noon-lunch.
No, I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life. It's time I moved on. But why do I have to go alone? Why can't I have any friends with any ambition? That's not fair, I know. Dan and Sarah H. are going to HACC, but that's here. And Marsia's going to Ithaca. She's certainly got ambition. Unfortunately, Ithaca isn't Bloomsburg. It's nowhere near Bloomsburg. Naomi's not going to school till next year. She's going to a Christian school anyway. So, here we are. Back at the beginning. I'm going to college completely alone. And basically defenseless. It's been so long since I've been in school. (HACC doesn't count. It's not based on social connections.) I don't even know what high school is like. Is it anything like elementary school was? It must be worse, cause elementary wasn't that bad. College isn't supposed to be like high school. But why would it be any different. One summer can't change people that much. Maybe because it's an all new set of people... but they're all coming from the same situation. Except me -- I'm coming from nowhere. I'm socially inept. I don't understand things that I should. I live in a different world than my soon-to-be peers.
44 days till the end of my world.
Help.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
